Reality Checks - Part 2

I am overwhelmed by the response to the "Reality Checks" post.  So many of you have written to thank me for the clarifications, the different perspective and to share their own experiences of the Mandali.

I have been asked to give some instances of the closeness and solidarity of the Mandali, and I will narrate a few that I have personally observed.

Mehera was Baba's Beloved and she was very innocent and child-like.  Her whole life had been lived for Baba and He sheltered her from all the unpleasantness and corruption in the world.  The year before Baba dropped His body, He called the ladies (including my aunt Manu, who was staying in Meherazad for her annual break with Baba and the Mandali) to Him individually and made them promise Him that they would look after Mehera and keep her happy.  "If you make Me unhappy I will forgive you, but if you make Mehera unhappy I will not be able to forgive you."  Mehera was not easy to look after.  After the accident she found it difficult to do things in normal time.  It took her hours to bathe, get ready, etc.  Mani, Naja, Goher, Meheru, Rano, Manu, Katie and Arnavaz all would help her along and care for her like a precious child.  She would snap at them if they tried to move her along, but never did they ever retaliate or express even the slightest anger.  Manu says that sometimes Mani would be reduced to tears but she never let Mehera see this.  In front of Mehera they would always stay cheerful, in fulfilment of the promise they made to Baba.

Mani was Baba's gift to His lovers.  Her humour, her wit and wisdom and her loving nature made her the perfect person to front Baba's Trust, which she did with great dignity and integrity for all the years she was the Chairman.  Her understanding was a life-saver for many, I among them.  The way she bore her pain at the last was a shining example of total surrender to Baba's Will.

Arnavaz was the essential counsellor.  She had lived in the world and understood the temptations and trials we all face every day in the world outside. Many times I have taken my problems to her and she has always had something to say that showed me that she understood and was able to empathise with what I was going through.  If my readers have their own experiences, please share them here; about any of them.  I'd love to read.  Thank you Raine, Bill and Frenietta for the lovely story about Jalu.

The men Mandali were a band of brothers.  Aloba was like a sheepdog, herding the others and doing all that needed to be done to ensure that the servants were always vigilant about the needs of the others.  He was passionate about Eruch and when Eruch died he wanted so much to be the next to die, because he wanted to be beside Eruch whom he had been a companion to ever since Eruch joined Baba.  Baba gave him his wish, and he does lie next to Eruch.

Eruch was Eruch.  On the last day of his life he was not well but he still wanted to go to the Trust Office, because Bhauji had returned from his USA trip that day, and Eruch wanted to go greet him.  He went, against all the doctors' advice, and embraced Bhauji.  That is the love and care Eruch had.  I've heard said that he was jealous of Bhauji, but were these the actions of a jealous man?  Eruch did not suffer from jealousy.  I did, about Baba and His attention being given to others.  Eruch always used to say that Baba is for everyone, there is no point in getting upset if He is paying attention to others.  Baba's love and attention were for the universe, so don't expect to monopolise Him.  Balaji was the sweetest soul.  He was grateful for the least thing anyone did for him and would profusely thank me for cooking his simple meals.

The unstinting service that Padri and Mansari offered to Baba, staying away from the main group and looking after His Meherabad, is indescribable.  Mansari often said that she felt that in giving them this work Baba had given her the gift of His constant companionship.  She used to get a bit irritated by the (then) new residents trying to get into the good books of the Meherazad residents, but it wasn't envy.  Just saw them as a distraction from focusing totally on Baba.

I now spend a lot of time in Meherazad, living with Meherwan and Manu (Eruch's brother and sister).  It is a privilege to be with them.  Meherwan is the epitome of self-effacement.  From him I am learning to give up self.  I must admit, he will not be too pleased by the first 'Reality Checks' posting, because he will say that I should have left it alone.  Would I become smaller by the incorrect telling of what happened with my Navjote?  However, I have a long way to go before I can be like him.

Beloved Baba wanted harmony above all else.  I apologise for writing something that could be interpreted as creating disharmony, but that wasn't my intention.  I loved them all, and they were my uncles and aunts and teachers.  I could not stand by and have them portrayed any other way.  Loving Jai Baba.  

Jalu Goes To Baba.

Jalu Kekobad Dastur died this morning at Meherabad.  She had lived in the quarters adjoining Baba's Cage Room for many years - first with her sister Gulu and later on her own - until today.  She will be cremated at Lower Meherabad in just about half an hour.


Jalu was always considered the 'fey' one.  She was not always fully present and Gulu used to usually tell her what to do.  When Gulu died everyone expected Jalu to not get over her sister's passing, but Jalu confounded everyone and managed fine.  She had a wicked sense of humour and recalled events that showed that she was very observant of everything that went on around her.  I recall once she was talking of a lady called Banubai whom she called a "Tumakhi kutri" which means a stuck-up bitch, because the said lady talked down to her as if she was an idiot.


Dolly Dastur used to go and visit her each morning and I would sometimes accompany her,  and we used to encourage Jalu to do her exercises by all of us lifting and lowering arms and legs, turning our neck and head from side to side and up and down, rolling shoulders and back and finally saying "Jai Baba" loudly.  Then Jalu would recite a poem with Dolly's help.  It could be "Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?" and she always remarked that I came from London (because I used to live in the UK).  But my favourite was a Gujarati poem, also about a cat.  I recite it here in Jalu's memory:


Mey ek bilaadi paali chey
Tey halvey halvey chaaley chey
Tey andhaaraa maa bhaaley chey
Tey doodh khaaey, dahi khaaey
Ney ghee toe chup chup chaatee jaaey
Teynaa dilpar daag chey
Tey mhaaraa gher noe vaagh chey


(I have kept a pet cat
She walks around very lightly
She sees in the dark
She eats milk, eats curds
And licks up ghee with great speed
She has stripes on her body
She is the tiger of my house)


Jalu, you are now with your Beloved Baba, for whom you always waited.  You used to say, "Baba always told us to stay at home with our parents.  We were from Bombay but we were very innocent.  We knew nothing of people who were sophisticated and clever.  But Baba always took care of us."


I salute your love for Baba and your life lived for Him.  I will miss you and our morning sessions, your soft skin and your insistence that you would not make me a cup of tea or give me a biscuit for coming to visit, your "Chal jaa" when you wanted us to go away.  Happy trails sweetheart.  I will be thinking of you when they light that fire, and wish I could have been there to see you off.  As we say at the end of Arti, "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai, Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai, Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!!!

Share the Writing?

Are there any readers who would like to share in writing about Beloved Baba on my blog?  I am told by my blogging expert, Gary McGill (he of the beautiful videos of Meherabad, Meherazad and Mandali Hall talks by Meherwan Jessawala, Tex Hightower, Alain Youell and the like - see gsmcgilluk on YouTube) that I can give guests permission to post blogs here.

If any of you out there are interested in writing, please send me your email ID and I will add you to the list of guest bloggers.  All I ask is that I get to preview the post before you publish.

In His Love,

Mehera.

Reality Checks

I was travelling to Meherazad on my birthday (21st February, for those of my readers who forgot to wish me a happy birthday), and sat next to a very nice American lady.  We got talking, as you do on the way to Meherazad, and I mentioned that I had known Beloved Baba and the Mandali since I was born.  On hearing that she said that she was very disturbed.  She had been to a talk at the Meher Pilgrim Centre given by Mehernath Kalchuri, and he had said that the Mandali squabbled amongst each other, were jealous of each other and were always trying to get one another in trouble with Baba.  She asked me if this was true.

For a while now I have been asked again and again about things written in the "Growing Up With God" book and other instances of reminisces and have withheld comment.  Each of us has different memories about growing up with Baba, and each of our memories is unique.  But in this instance, when she said that many others who had been at the talk felt the same way when it was over, I feel impelled to make a clarification.

I said before that Baba Himself said that He was the Avatar, His Mandali was not Him.  OK, but in all my life before Beloved Baba dropped His Body and after, I have lived with and been close to the men and women Mandali.  I can say with both the clarity of vision of a child and the judgement of an adult, the Mandali were brothers and sisters in Him.  They may have had differences - they were only human - but they were not driven by jealousy or spite or any other petty motives.  If one was affected then all suffered.  Yes, there was one among them who did have a tendency to try and poison others against people but Baba knew who it was and He took action accordingly.

While on the subject, I will now refer to some of the stories in "Growing Up With God".  Stories I found disturbing and demeaning to the Mandali members they refer to.  Firstly, IF Baba asked Sheela to call His sister Mani a "white pig" and she did what He asked as a child, as an adult she must know that He did things for His own reasons.  To write about it serves no real purpose.  And I say IF because Mani is no longer with us to either confirm or deny this.  Same with the other stories.

However, there are stories that are not true, and I know that they are not.  This is because I was there and I was equally witness to the events and what actually happened.  She mentions that in 1965 "a Parsi child" had her Navjote performed by Beloved Baba at Mehera's insistence, in Guruprasad.  Baba was most reluctant to do this and would not ever have done so had Mehera not insisted that she had given her word.  After it was over all that Baba gave that child was a handkerchief.  That child was me.  The real story is that my grandfather wanted the Navjote done by a Zoroastrian priest, and Baba said no.  He was going to do my Navjote Himself.  He set the date and we all went as a family to Guruprasad, where He put on the sadra and kusti for me, made me recite the Parvardigar, Repentance and Beloved God prayers before Him, gave me a silver glass full of sweets (I still have the glass), and gave me a message along with a beautiful photograph of Him which also I still have.  The message says:

"Dearest Baby Mehera,
May Ahuramazda, Zoroaster and Meher Baba help you to get rid of all superficial ceremonies.
Avatar Meher Baba"  and the date.

The message is in Eruch's hand.  We had a lovely day in Baba's company and Mani took pictures of us in Guruprasad gardens, we had lunch with Baba and I will always treasure that memory.

The other is again about Navjotes, co-incidentally.  When describing the Navjotes that Beloved Baba performed on the occasion of Dara and Amrit's wedding, the book narrates that He was not at all happy to perform the ceremonies.  He didn't want to do so and only did because Arnavaz insisted. Arnavaz was the best example of surrender to His Will that I have ever known in my life.  Many of you have had the experience of talking with her, and know this to be true.  She would never have done so.  The fact is that Baba sent out messages to all His close families, saying if you want your children's Navjotes to be done by Me bring them on the day.  My sister Dolly was one of the kids who was so selected.  Baba made Eruch write three times and three times my grandmother said no, she is too young.  Because of her my sister missed her chance.  And again, Baba didn't just give the children handkerchieves, He gave them their Sadras, Kustis, and a loving embrace.  If my memory is at fault, then surely Amrit's isn't and nor is that of my family who were all involved in all the arrangements?  This change has been made to the previous post because someone has requested it who was personally affected, but the rest is unchanged, since that is what happened.

A little research or just a courtesy query to the families concerned would have helped Sheela write a book that was closer to the truth.  Perhaps saying that the book was written with the frankness of a child excuses all factual errors?  Each child who has grown up with Baba feels that he or she was special and especially beloved.  That is only natural, because Baba made us feel that way.  However, children and teenagers grow up and they then develop the judgement to evaluate their childhood experiences and discern.  They also learn to check and verify, one hopes.  In this case that does not seem to have happened.

I could point out other discrepancies, but this is a start to getting things into perspective and doing some reality checks.  I am sorry that this had to be written.  I am not raising controversy nor am I on a witch hunt.  All I want is for there to be some clarity and respect for the Mandali and their lives of sacrifice and service.  Talks and books that cast doubt on these are not really helping and only give a distorted view of life with Baba.  It is worth remembering that children's perceptions of their parents can be very distorted even when they are adults, and that all families (the Mandali was a family in all senses, except not all were related by blood) have ups and downs, but that does not make them dysfunctional.  Just normal.  I hope my readers will take this in the spirit it has been written and if they are ever asked for their opinion, direct someone to this blog, if it would help them.  In His Love, Jai Meher Baba.

In His Trust.

The Trust has had a really hard time recently.  There have been open emails about what members of the Baba community see as mismanagement, fraud, high-handed behaviour from those in authority, etc.  In all this, I keep hearing that the Trust is not working, the Trust is in trouble, the Trust is not following Baba's direction....

Well folks, it is not the Trust that is doing all this.  Please remember, the Trust is Baba's and will always be Baba's.  He is the Creator and in His time, if it suits His universal work, He will be the destroyer.  What people are writing about it the trustees.  They are unhappy with what the trustees are doing, with how they are using donations given out of love for Meher Baba, about waste and misuse.  All this is worrying, no doubt.  But it is also due to the fact that trustees are human.  Baba Himself said very clearly, "I am God.  Remember that my Mandali is not Me."  Human frailty is inherent in each of us, so before we point fingers we need to look within and ask, "Am I doing everything I can to be a good example of how His lovers live in my own life?"  Who knows what I would do in a similar situation where I have unquestioned authority?

The Trustees are making an effort to put their house in order.  There has been an open email sent to all Baba lovers on the mailing list about what they are doing to address the concerns of the Baba lovers all over the world.  They are working on making the Trust's programmes more open and transparent and also putting in place safeguards that prevent any one person from making unilateral decisions that affect the many.  It will be possible for individuals to question and to be given an answer, so that this culture of unquestioned authority will give way to a more democratic and productive environment.  It will take time, strong will and the ability to do what needs to be done without worrying about who is saying what.  Hopefully, He will give these trustees the strength to carry out His work in the manner that glorifies Him.

If anyone hasn't seen the open email from the Trust in response to the various challenging emails they received, please ask and I will send you a copy.  The time for all of us to get involved and support any positive change is now.  Jai Meher Baba.

Seclusion Hill

I wanted to share this picture of Seclusion Hill taken by Gary last month, because it shows how beautiful the hill looks right now. 

I walk up the hill every morning when I am at Meherazad, and it is my morning meditation.  Once I get to the top (usually just about when the sun is rising) I bow to Baba in the sun, the water of Pimpalgaon Lake, the home at Meherazad and at His Tomb shrine at Meherabad (in the old days before pollution you could see Meherabad Hill in the distance) and say to Him, "Thank You for bringing me here today.  I offer my day to You and ask only that You let me live with Your Name on my lips and Your Damaan in my hands. When my time comes let me die with Your Name on my lips and Your Damaan in my hands."  I can't say when I first started saying this little prayer but it came to me and now it is a heartfelt morning greeting to Beloved Baba.  

Baba must be mindful of my climbing and He has noticed that I do try to remember Him as I climb.  I say this because the last couple of times when my attention drifted from Him to something else and was hooked on this intrusion, I fell!  One time I scraped my knee and the other time I had a very bruised backside.  He has a very effective way of drawing your attention back to what really matters, Him.  I just hope He does not transfer this method of drawing my attention back to remembering Him during the rest of the day, because otherwise I am going to end up very battered and bruised with all the falls - both literal and spiritual - that come from the mind wandering indiscriminately.  

Speaking of falls, Manu Jessawala fell off her perch on 19 December 2011 and got an impacted fracture of her left shoulder.  She is taking a long time recovering, though given her age and her advanced osteoporosis, she is doing really well.  She will be out of her sling in the next few days and slowly getting the arm mobilised again.  We are planning on taking her to the Samadhi on 30 January 2012 morning to take Darshan before the crowds all arrive, Baba willing.  She feels motivated to go, because she says she does not know if she will have another Amartithi to go before she goes to Baba.  I think that is a wise decision, because she does seem to be moving away slowly, her mind getting more and more fuzzy about immediate happenings.  When she sleeps she talks to Him out loud.  That said, she is being a real trouper, bearing what must be terrible pain both in her arm and in her legs, and still keeping cheerful most of the time.  

I recall what Eruch would say, "Mehera, don't get old.  Old age is nothing but trouble."  I agree. I have asked Baba to take me once my oldies are all gone.  Maybe when I am approaching 70.  Three score and ten is enough for anyone.  Baba, are you listening??  

Quite Contrary..

This is a quick vignette about Manu (Eruch's sister) who is now 92 going on 93. Manu can be quite pernickety, and tends to moan a bit about things. Yesterday when our tea arrived at 5.50 a.m. it was not quite enough for two large mugs and it was not really hot. She complained with each sip that it was cold, it was cold..so I asked her the logical question, shall I warm it up? Oh no! Why waste gas, I'll drink it quickly. But no, each sip brought the same refrain, "It is cold tea. Why couldn't Kashinath (man-servant who makes morning tea at Meherazad) bring it hot?" So later that day I found Kashinath and told him to please bring more tea and also bring it really hot.

This morning we had a lovely pot of tea - hot and plenty of it - so I filled our mugs and there was still quite a bit left. I asked her if she wanted more when I topped up my mug, and though she said no, I put in a bit anyway. "What are you doing? Do you know how much of a problem it is for me to have too much tea? I have to keep going to the potty and peeing.." OK, no more tea for Manu. So I finish pouring all the tea into my mug, and drink it. AS I take the last sip of tea what happens? Manu pipes up, "Is there any more tea?" See what I mean by Contrary??

Manu is not unique in this. The Mandali were known to be contrary, they said one thing and then when you had done as they asked they changed and said something else. But this was not something they consciously did. Baba used to do exactly the same thing with them, and they just got down and did what He asked, no matter how many times He changed the game plan!!