I used to say the prayers in front of Beloved Baba as a child. The very first time He asked me to recite the prayers to Him I was around 2. I didn't know the prayers by-heart, but Baba said that I should recite what I know. So I did, badly, in return for a handful of mango sweets! These were mine, and I refused to share them with anyone (even God could not make me generous, remember), putting them in a paper bag and then keeping them in front of the picture of Baba where He said He was physically present (this is now in Manu Jessawalla's room in Meherazad), so I could eat them one by one.
The next morning, all the sweets were gone. Our servant Kesar who had a tendency to steal stuff had eaten them all, only the papers were left. I didn't even get to eat a single one. However, that night I dreamed of Baba and He made me recite the prayers - or so I recall. Whatever, I knew them off absolutely correctly and since that time He often made me say the prayers in front of Him. At the opening of the Poona Baba Centre I was asked to say the prayers to the whole gathering, and I did. Praying in front of the Avatar is a great experience. As a child I would feel totally suffused with a kind of freshness, as if a cool and soothing breeze was surrounding me as I prayed. It is a sensory memory. (I still felt that it was not quite as impressive as dressing up and dancing for Him, like the other girl used to do - see my post on jealousy!)
When I returned to Meherabad on 8th August, I went up to evening Arti and closed my eyes and started the prayers. To my great surprize I was transported back to my childhood, I could see Baba in His chair in Guruprasad Mandali Hall, and as I prayed the same cool and soothing breeze again played around me. I went through my prayers in His presence, and this was His welcome gift to me. There was no other thought, no distraction. All that I felt was Baba accepting my prayers. Maybe He did this to give me strength and acceptance for what was waiting for me when I got back to Pune, and I know that the problems I have had to face since are so much less because He showed me what is real and what is illusion. He alone is real, all else is illusion. Illusion hurts, though.
Mehera, I typed in "Meher Baba" into something called "Google Alerts" (which will alert you to any topic of interest to you that occurs that day on the Internet, and your blog came up!
ReplyDelete"Illusion hurts," you'd said at the end of your lovely article. And it sure does. If it wasn't for knowing and feeling His presence and active involvement in our lives, illusion would be absollutely ubearable.
He makes it not only bearable, but once in a long while, actually joyful.
Wishing you much love and luck,
Mickey Karger
Delray Beach, Florida
Hi Mickey, and Jai Baba. Thank you, I do know! Most of the time He showers my life with the illusion of joy and contentment, but the last couple of weeks have been very stressful. I've just moved back to India, having retired from my job in the UK, and while being home is lovely, it has been stressful. Your words of encouragement and love really touched my heart. He takes care of us all, illusion-bound as we are! In His Love, Mehera.
ReplyDeleteMehera, I only just now saw your response. I can only hope you're gettin' through the tough times. I know He wants us to have equipoise, but boy is that ever a tall order. We can only try our best. Sometimes I don't think I look to Him enough, you know, really try to depend on Him for every little thing...thinking in my foolishness that it would be a botheration to Him! Such silly, self-limiting thoughts, yet I go on thinking them. Maybe one day, I'll wise up, as the American expression goes.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Mehera. In his Love and Friendship...Mickey.