As you know if you have been reading my blog and my posts on Facebook, mum had to have by-pass surgery to clear blockages in her coronary arteries. She has been convalescing, and my sister Dolly and I have been taking care of her. Dolly is so much better - more patient and more tolerant - than I am. Mum has started wanting almost everything done for her, and I always ask her to do the things she can, herself. Dolly, on the other hand, uncomplainingly does everything. I can't but admire her love and stoicism, she herself is recovering from a broken elbow.
Anyway, I was (and am) feeling a tad irritated and impatient these days. I have been talking to Baba asking Him to make me feel more loving and giving, but He seemed to be silent (well, more than usual! He is after all the Silent One). Last night I had a vivid dream where Baba comes up behind me as I was being snippy with mum, gives me a sharp whack on the back of my head, and points to Himself and then to my mum. I turn to look at her and see that she and He look alike! Except she was wearing a violently mauve dress and He was radiant in His blue coat and sadra. I turn back to Baba but He silences me and says that I must remember that He is Roshan, and that it is His gift to me, that I am able to serve her and Him! So much for snippy.
Baba, I will remember and do better. Isn't it strange? The only two who have ever whacked me are Baba (in this dream) and Eruch (when I was around 6, with Baba's permission). Otherwise, everyone had a strict order from Baba to never smack or physically punish me, or hurt me in any way which made it very hard for my family sometimes. Baba had told them, 'If you hurt her you are hurting Me.' Jai Baba.