Video of Meheru's Journeys from Samadhi to Pyre

As promised, I am posting a link to the video that Gary McGill took of Meheru's funeralIt actually starts with Morning Arti at the Samadhi, and carries on to the end when her pyre was set alight. 

Meherazad is so quiet now.  There is a hush rather than a silence.  When I went to the main house after I arrived this morning Shelley and Julie (Lee-Morris) were sorting through stuff in the dining room.  Meheru died on a hospital bed placed where Goher's bed is.  Today it is covered with beautiful pictures of Meheru and there is a lamp burning by the bedside.  The house already feels orphaned.  It was the women Mandali's home for so many years, and now the last of them has gone, it is incomplete.  No matter who stays there in the future as care-taker it will always feel bereft. 

Manu and Meherwan are both trying to come to terms with Meheru's going to Baba.  Though they are so totally resigned to His Will, there is a hesitation, a lack of confidence.  They have lost a life-companion, someone they have been with over 74 years!  Meherwan was 8 when he came to be with Baba and Meheru was 10.  We met Sampati (the old man who is in his 90's and who helped Donkin build the first road up Seclusion Hill, then later carried water for Baba and the men Mandali up the Hill when Baba was in seclusion there) on the approach road this evening and he said he remembered Meheru coming to Meherazad as a little girl.  "Chotishi mulgi hoetee jehvaa Meherazad laa aalee."  She was a little girl when she came to Meherazad, he said.  That little girl became a beautiful young woman and later after all her Mandali sisters went to Baba, the one who kept the torch burning - telling stories, sharing anecdotes, giving prasad of fruit from Baba's and Mehera's garden to pilgrims.  She was fun, she was exasperating at times, she was, is and always will be Meheru, totally Baba's.  Jai Baba.

Meheru's Final Journey.

This morning I woke at 4 a.m. (again) and as soon as I was fully awake the thought that this is the first day that Meheru is not in this world hit me like a fist in my stomach.  Not only that, for this advent, there are no more of His women Mandali left.  She was the last.  I had not gone to Meherazad with Dolly Dastur and Indira, but I went to morning arti and sang Ishti Yakey for Meheru. 

Rushed down and had a quick bite to eat, then went back up just as they were bringing Meheru into Baba's Samadhi.  She was laid out at His feet, carried in by her family males - brother Jangu, nephews Faroukh and Meher Burzin and someone else whom I don't know.  The 3 sisters-in-law and neices were there too.  All were shocked.  Prayers and Arti followed, then Meheru was taken to lie next to her beloved aunt, Mehera.  After garlanding Mehera's tomb she was carried to the other side where she was laid down next to Mani.  From there it was back in the ambulance and down to Old Mandali Hall, where she lay for over an hour and half.  Originally the cremation was set for 10.00 a.m. but there were long lines of people waiting for a last glimpse of Meheru, and so everyone got a chance to visit with her one last time.  The twins, Rustom and Sohrab, came from Pune and said a fond goodbye.  I was asked by Heather to read the eulogy that Rick and Sheryl Chapman had sent for Meheru.  It was beautifully written, only problem was I didn't have my reading glasses.  As I peered at the paper I thought how Meheru would have commented half irritated and half amused, "Where are your reading glasses?  Don't be too vain to wear them."  She said exactly the same thing to me one evening in Manu's room, when Meherwan gave me something to read to her and I was too lazy to go fetch my spectacles. 

Anyway, after the reading there were songs to Beloved Baba sung by those present, to entertain her for the last time...so many last times here.  Then the Gujarati Arti was sung and it was time to go.  She was carried out by the rear door of Old Mandali Hall and put into the ambulance.  Accompanied by her care-givers and Dolly and Indira she went to the cremation platform where a flat bier had been laid.  Her body was put on this and the wood arranged all around it, until she was covered.  A very poignant moment for me was when Shelley took one of her handkerchiefs and went to cover her face.  The village cremation expert put pieces of dry coconut on her mouth and eyes, then Shelley tucked the kerchief around her radiant face, and it was hidden from us for all time.  Wood was piled over and then Gauris (cowdung pancakes) were arranged around it all, and the whole structure doused with Ghee (clarified butter) which would be the igniting agent.  Meheru's brother and nephews along with Jal and Ramesh were then brought on stage and the flaming torches handed to them.  The haunting sound of "Satchitananda, Parmananda" rang out accompanied by a lone cymbal and the Irani drums.  It was so beautiful, tears streamed down my face.  Then the torches were touched to the pyre and off she went!  The flames caught and soared and crackled, and our Meheru's physical remains were on their way to dust.  Her soul had already been dust at His Feet for so many years, now it was her body's turn.  I recalled Baba telling Eruch on the occasion of his father's funeral, the body is the excreta of the soul.  Just as you feel relieved when you have a good bowel movement, so the soul feels only relief when it sheds a body.  Her relief was palpable, visible on her face.  It was just our faces that had tear streaks, Meheru was laughing all the way to her Beloved Baba's side. 

Gary and I have, between us, taken a lovely video of the 3 stops.  He is travelling, so will post to YouTube as soon as he can.  Once this is up, I will post a link here for you all to be able to be part of this momentous event.

Last one, never again will we be present at the final farewell to one of His dear women Mandali.  As this day comes to a close I can feel a sense of expectation and dread...every time one of His close ones goes the world faces some great upheaval.  Eruch's was the most dramatic, perhaps.  He went and we had 9/11.   It is as if each Mandali is holding something in check, holding back some great and terrible event.  However, this is in the future.  Right now I just miss her.  A lot.  Goodbye darling Meheru.  Goodbye.  Jai Baba.

P.S.  The blogs about Meheru are in blue because she liked blue.  Janet said that on every trip they took Meheru would look for blue cloth.  And added the comment that she never bought any because she could not find the right blue!!  These are probably also the wrong blue, Meheru, but I tried.

Meheru goes to Beloved Baba

Meheru Irani, Beloved Baba's last woman Mandali, passed peacefully into the waiting arms of her Beloved Meher Baba at 4.06 p.m. IST.  She had been in a coma since her stroke at 8.15 a.m. on 19 April 2012.  She was surrounded by her loving caregivers and other close ones.  Though I was not there at the end, I had seen her at 3.45 p.m. and her breathing had changed.  She was not breathing deeply - only her chest lifted, unlike earlier in the day when her abdomen to would rise and fall with each breath - and there was a soft rattle in her throat.  At around 4.08 p.m. we heard the call that she had gone to Baba and rushed over to the main Meherazad bungalow to see her at peace and gently smiling.

Meheru was the youngest of the women Mandali, niece of Mehera Irani.  She was intelligent, full of life and at times sharp.  She had a temper but she also had the ability to forgive and forget.  When she used to come stay at Bindra House in Pune she would help me with my homework.  She and I once memorised "The Ballad of Father Gilligan".  In that poem there is a beautiful line: "He Who has made the night of stars for souls who tire and bleed sent one of His great angels down to help me in my need."  Meheru was indeed one of His great angels, sent to help us who were left after Baba and the rest of the Mandali left us.  She kept alive the intimate atmosphere of His home by holding groups entranced with her stories of her life with Baba, every pilgrim day (health permitting) on the porch.  Her attention to detail (learned by her service to her aunt Mehera) ensured that Meherazad remained His home and welcomed His lovers year after year.  This year, after the pilgrim season ended, she participated in the spring cleaning and got so tired she was ill.  But that didn't stop her, she was back at it as soon as possible.

There are many lovely memories of times with Meheru.  The best of the recent ones was when my son Sheriar came to visit and stayed at Meherazad for 4 days.  He visited her on the porch in the evenings and she would ask him about his life, his new teaching job, what he enjoyed and what he didn't...She remembered the child and now she was getting to know the adult, and both enjoyed the interaction thoroughly.  There are so many times she would drop in to visit with Manu and they would spend sometimes ten minutes or sometimes even an hour just talking and encouraging Manu.  She would always bring some treat - soup or something savoury or sweet - often made by herself.  Manu visited her this morning, really early.  First off she didn't want to go, then she went.  Meheru was in a deep coma.  Manu went up to her and kissed her and said to Meheru, "You go to Baba and then call me.  I will come."  The caregivers who witnessed this said that it was so poignant that they nearly broke down.  

No one expected this.  Meheru was so full of life only a week ago.  I was away in Pune and Mumbai seeing Sheriar off, but everyone says that until she fell down after the stroke she was fine.  I still can't believe she is gone.  Baba knows, she has left a hole the size of a volcano crater in our lives.  There was so much more she needed to see and be present for, I thought.  But Baba's timing is perfect.  He didn't let Meheru suffer too much.  Three days of unconsciousness and a gentle cough and she was gone.  As we prepared her for her final journey, the visit to Meherabad to Baba's Samadhi for the last time, we were actually able to laugh and say how this or that scarf would look, how the patched bed sheet in which she was wrapped was so Meheru (she patched everything) and how the trousers and top she was dressed in were ones she wore on her vacations to Kashid.  She had been bathed that morning so she was beautifully fragrant.  Still, she was wiped, rubbed with scented oil and her hair combed.  Her feet and arms were bound and the sheet wrapped around then fastened at the neck with a beautiful Baba button.  The prayers were recited and Avatar Meher Baba's Jai spoken loudly, with all our love and our missing.  Then the servants in the kitchen and other housemaids who served her came to bow down.  Tears coursed down their faces, they had lost someone who was like a mother to them.  Forgotten were the scoldings, all they recalled was the love and the caring she showed whenever one of them needed it.  Then, laid out on a strong bedspread from Paul Comar's collection she was put on the stretcher and lifted up and taken into Mehera and Mani's room first.  From there we took her to Baba's room, and she exited the house for the final time from His bedroom door, feet first.  Over to Mandali hall, she now lies before Baba's chair.  She looks radiant, her face has relaxed into the most lovely smile, she looks so happy.  Flowers from Meherazad garden were brought and put around her by those of us who were present.  People started coming, from the village and from Ahmednagar and Meherabad.  My sister Dolly was on her way to Meherazad and got the news while she was still in the bus.  She picked up a beautiful garland of spider lilies and roses and this was placed around her face, framing it in a fragrant cloud of white and red.  More flowers were put on her and she looks like she is sleeping, dreaming of her Beloved.  

Manu came into Mandali hall for the first time in a very long while.  She sat on her wheel chair and sang to Meheru.  Satchitanand Parmanand was followed by the Meher Dhun and that was followed by Hari Parmatma Allah Ahurmazd God Yezdan Hu.  Bhauji and Co. arrived and then sang the Adi Sachetan Arti.  Dolly and I stayed until the hall started filling up and then we left, knowing we would see her tomorrow at Meherabad.

The schedule is as follows:

• 7.45 a.m.  Meheru leaves Meherazad for Meherabad and is taken to Beloved Baba's Samadhi
• 8.30 a.m to 9.00 a.m. Meheru lies in the Tomb while prayers and arti are said, then down to Old Mandali Hall for people to pay their last respects
• 9.30 a.m. Meheru is taken from Old Mandali Hall to the platform where her pyre will be ready and waiting.  She will be laid on the pyre and covered up.  As with all the others who have gone before, there will be a chance to say a last goodbye and then the pyre will be lit, reducing our dearest Meheru's gross body to ashes.  Her soul is already happy to have finally joined her Eternal Beloved, Avatar Meher Baba.

Our joy in your reunion with your Beloved is great.  But forgive us our tears, they are selfish ones because we miss you so.  Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai.

Meheru

Many of you will have read Shelley Marrich's email about Meheru having a stroke yesterday.  Though the initial signs were hopeful, today Meheru's condition has deteriorated.  The stroke initially affected her right side and she was unable to move her limbs on that side.  At close of day she was responsive to her name and was moving her toes.  But later in the night she developed a fever and though the fever has broken she is in a coma, and the other (left) side is also affected.  Meherwan says that she had an aneurysm that is bleeding into her brain.  Due to her heart condition Meheru cannot be given anticoagulants or other drugs to thin her blood.  I am sure that Shelley will post another bulletin on Tavern Talk when she can take time out from her caring for Meheru.  I hope to go to Meherazad tomorrow morning.

Meheru is in a critical state.  Please pray to Beloved Baba that He takes care of His Meheru and brings her back to us, if that be His Will.  If He wants her to come to Him, then she will surely heed the call of her Master and obey, as she has done every day of her life for so many years.  Meheru is dear to all of us.  We are all praying and sending her our love and thoughts so that she may know how loved she is.  I am selfishly not ready to let her go, and I know that there are many who feel this way too, but it is in Baba's hands.  As I go to sleep now I know that I will be holding her in my heart and hoping for better news in the morning.  Eruch loved this little prayer that we were taught in my convent school:

"Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray Thee Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake
I pray Thee Lord my soul to take."

There is no doubt that Meheru is Baba's and that should the day bring news of her going to Him, she will be with her Beloved Baba.  But Baba please, let us have Meheru for a while longer.  Love and Jai Baba to you all.

Dhuni 12 April 2012

Yesterday was Dhuni day.  The day had been hot but some time in the afternoon there was a sprinkle of rain and the ground was not as dusty as it is in the heat of summer.  An early Arti was followed by people going down the Hill to the Dhuni site where the Dhuni is lit on every 12th of the month.

Meherabad is really quiet in the summer months.  No pilgrims at the hostel or MPR, very few residents and only a sprinkling of daily visitors.  Now that Jalu has gone, there are none of the older ones living anywhere on the Hill or at Lower Meherabad.  I was thinking of the early days when it used to be full of the presence of Baba's close ones - Keikobad Dastur, Gulu, Jalu and Mansari lived on the Hill while Padri, Sidhuji and his wife and Mohammed the Mast lived below.  Later on Dadi Kerawala and his mother Banumasi, Jimmy and Roda Mistry moved to Lower Meherabad, early residents moved there and even in summer there was always some activity.  It is so quiet now. 

There must have been around 45 people at the Dhuni.  A short line, and my turn came at almost breakneck speed.  As I threw in the sticks I remembered friends who couldn't be there and asked Him to take care of all.  The Dhuni is the fire that burns away your attachments, for me anyway.  Usually I throw in a stick and ask Baba to take what He wants, but this time I threw in a stick and offered Baba my attachment to my parents' health and asked Him to do as He sees best.  It is difficult seeing your parents going towards the ultimate journey in this life, the journey of the soul as it leaves the body behind.  A friend of mine who had a difficult relationship with his father said to me when his dad died, "Mum died years ago, and since I didn't get on with my dad I didn't think I'd mind when he died, but I feel really alone now, an orphan."  Mine are still here, both of them.  But they are not well at all and I needed to ask for His help in dealing with them and their state of health.  The help will come, I know this with as much certainty as I know that He will take care of everything in His time and His way. 

A Long Interval Between Blogs..

I was checking my blog again after a long absence.  I have had a lot on my plate recently, with my mum's health not getting any better and my caring duties with Manu Jessawala.  Also, on a happier note, my son Sheriar is visiting for a couple of weeks for the Easter break.  

I noted that there was a response from Mehernath Kalchuri via Robin Oppenheimer to the "Reality Checks" posting.  Everyone is welcome to leave a comment, but I would request that each person speak for him or herself. You are welcome to post your own views, whatever those views may be, I am happy for you to do so.  However, posting via a third party is not really necessary (if one has time to compose and write out a response to give to someone else to post, it's quicker to post it oneself) and gives an impression that the person using a proxy feels above commenting for him or herself.  

I read Mehernath's comment via Robin with some surprise and concern.  I note that he said "I have the utmost respect 100% for His Mandali. The jealousy I spoke of relates to our current situation. Some people are spreading rumors, making allegations and defamations, out of jealousy and ignorance." Whatever the current situation, whatever allegations and rumours/defamations are being spread, a talk about life with Meher Baba is not the venue to air these views.  It has caused confusion and distress.  There are other platforms better suited for such clarifications.  

Mehernath gives some views on Beloved Baba's discipline and life of action, especially with reference to His Mandali.  I believe that Baba's discipline was total - He expected inner and outer discipline and implicit obedience to His wishes at all times - and as my uncle Eruch often said, Baba emphasised outer discipline to habituate His Mandali to cultivating and practicing inner discipline.  I've often thought that discipline in the gross world leads to the mind getting disciplined and ultimately being brought to the point of surrender to Baba.  

Like Mehernath I too was brought up with Baba from the time I was born (1959) to the time He dropped the physical body in 1969.  After that time I have lived and worked closely with His Mandali who were like family to me.  I do know that Baba was very hard on His close ones, several of them were from my own family!   What does telling inaccurate stories have to do with Baba being very hard on His near ones and giving them affectionate names like "Fool #9"?  I'm confused.  I read Sheela's book and found it inaccurate in several instances.  That was what I commented on, and also her sharing of certain events that didn't serve any purpose - i.e. Mani's being called "white pig" by Sheela as per Baba's order - and the lack of confirmation we have about such instances.  Mani is no longer with us, and since there were no others present, this is not verifiable. There are clear implications that the other Mandali were jealous of Bhauji, which is also incorrect.   Had this book been published 15 years earlier and some of the Mandali whose stories are told were given a chance to read the manuscript, we'd have a more accurate, truthful and verified version of the events that are recounted.  

Kendra (Crossen-Borroughs) comments that it should have been made clear that the conversations with Baba are not verbatim.  They are Sheela's recollections.  Someone reading the book could be thinking these are Baba's actual words, which is simply not the case.  I totally agree with this.  There is nothing more dangerous than re-writing the advent of the Avatar and putting out literature that puts words into the mouth of the Silent One.  It is easily done.  I could do it, so could anyone else who was in my position or Sheela's.  As the Mandali and the close ones go, it is our generation that are the last ones left of those who had close contact with Meher Baba.  It is our responsibility and our sacred duty to Him to make sure that we give as accurate a version as is possible.  And if inaccuracies are noted, then it is the duty of those who were also there to ask that these be corrected.  We are very fortunate to have been in His physical presence and to have had a very close and loving connection with Meher Baba.  Bearing this in mind it is imperative that we don't exploit it in any way.  Jai Baba to all.